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LETTERS FROM BOBOLINK FARM
By Barbara Tatham Johnson

 


NOTES FROM THE HINTERLAND

EXCERPTS FROM A GASOLINE DIARY


By Laurie Meunier Graves

On January 31, 2006, President Bush delivered his annual State of the Union Address to Congress. True to form, he said what was expected and delivered such platitudes as “the United States of America will continue to lead….We seek the end of tyranny in the world….we will act boldly in freedom’s cause.” Because I am a liberal Democrat, the mind-numbing triteness of his address—How much, exactly, do those speechwriters get paid?—only served to remind me of this administration’s long list of blunders, which by now are so well known that it hardly seems necessary to list them. However, something Bush said made me turn my attention from the Republicans’ folly to my own behavior. That is, “we have a serious problem: America is addicted to oil, which is often imported from unstable parts of the world.”

Now, it must be mentioned that for Bush to lecture America about being addicted to oil is a little like a Colombian drug lord chiding Marion Barry for being addicted to cocaine. Nevertheless, Bush does have a point—the United States is completely dependent on oil, and without it, our society couldn’t function. From the food we eat to transportation to fuel, every aspect of our lives is touched by oil, and this is true whether you live in Maine or in California, whether you’re an organic farmer or a movie star, whether you drive a Prius or an SUV. At some level, everyone in this country relies on oil.

After the State of the Union address, I wanted to see just what part I played in the country’s addiction to oil, and I decided to do this by keeping a month-long gasoline diary where I would record how far I drove and how much I spent on gas. I would also describe where I went and what I did so that I could get a sense of exactly how I was “feeding my addiction.” This method, of course, didn’t take into account all the oil that was used to transport the many things I bought during the month. I will leave it to those with a better grasp of numbers to figure out how much gasoline is used to deliver the things we buy. My goal was to see how much gasoline I used in my car for one month, the month of February, 2006. And this I did.

Finally, I do want to note that my situation is much different from most people’s circumstances. Both my husband and I work at home, and we only have one car, a Toyota Corolla that gets about forty miles per gallon. Because of this, I started the diary feeling a little smug, certain that my husband and I went for days on end without using the car. As it turned out, the reality was somewhat different, and my diary proved to be a valuable lesson on how record keeping always trumps guessing.

Here, then, are excerpts from the diary.

February 1

A no-car day and an auspicious beginning. As I sit at my desk and do my daily work, I can’t help but think that the world would be a better place if everyone worked at home the way my husband and I do.

Total mileage for the day: 0

February 2

I drive to my town’s Food Pantry to do my civic duty. Once a month or so, I volunteer at the pantry and give food to those who need it. Being a bleeding-heart liberal as well as a Franco-American, there are few things I enjoy more than loading food into boxes and seeing people leave with plenty of good things to eat. Cheerios, bread, spaghetti, and fruit. Sugar, coffee, and tea. I picture all this food going to various homes in Winthrop and feeding children, grandparents, mothers, and fathers. Not for the first time, I reflect that in this richest country in the world, nobody, whatever their circumstance might be, should go hungry.

Later that night, I drive to Augusta, a small city not far from where I live, to meet a friend for tea at Barnes & Noble. We have known each other since childhood, but it has been many years since we have seen each other. After an evening spent catching up with each other’s lives, we decide not to let this happen again.

On the way home, I fill the gas tank for $24.95

Total mileage: 28

(I must admit that I am shocked to discover that I have driven nearly thirty miles to work at the Food Pantry and visit with a friend. The smug feeling is replaced with a feeling of foreboding that my addiction is worse than I thought it was.)

February 3

My husband and I drive to Augusta to meet friends for dinner. We go to a new pub that is totally packed and totally disorganized, and we have to wait for over an hour just to be seated. To make matters worse, the menu features a sandwich called “The O’Reilly Factor.” The hostess pleads ignorance when I bring it up, but I know very well that the name is in reference to the right-wing talk show host Bill O’Reilly. My bleeding heart is heavy as I order fish and chips, which turn out to be very good. However, they are not any better than a nearby pub’s fish and chips where there is nary a mention of right-wing commentators. Also, the other pub’s name—The Liberal Cup—somehow has a better ring.

Total mileage: 20


February 6

A no-car day.

Total mileage: 0

February 7

From Joseph Fitzpatrick’s letter in today’s New York Times: “How about starting a unified national program to conserve oil through conservation, sacrifices, and leadership? This would be an excellent way for all of us to come together and support our troops with action (as we did in World War II) rather than rhetoric…. Members of congress and even the administration could demonstrate great leadership, unite the country, and set a wonderful example by using fuel-efficient vehicles.”

Mr. Fitzpatrick is quite the optimist when it comes to our leaders. Two of Dick Cheney’s pithy remarks concerning conservation come to mind. The first is the oft quoted “conservation is a personal virtue,” with the understanding that the government should not get involved. The second is the remark, made sometime during Bush’s first term, about fuel-efficient vehicles: “Americans don’t drive cars like that.”

Still, we need people like Joseph Fitzpatrick to remind us what leaders could do, if they only had the will.

Today is an errand day around Winthrop, where I live. I go to the transfer station, pet-supply store, florist, post office, drug store, and grocery store. I try to get everything done so that I won’t have to use the car for a few days, but the snag comes at the post office where there are two orders for the journal. This is a good thing, but it means I have to go back to the post office tomorrow. Technically, the post office is within walking distance, but, at two miles, it is just far enough away so that walking isn’t convenient. Do I walk, ride, or wait a few days? Such are the choices a gasoline addict must make.

In the evening we go to Augusta to visit a friend with a broken ankle. Naturally, we do other errands along the way. With a tight grip on the remote control, our friend is in good spirits, happily settled on the couch. He has books, DVDs, and the Olympics to keep him occupied, and, for now, at least, cabin fever isn’t an issue.

Total mileage: 36.6

February 9

A no-car day. The weather is clear and cold, and the sky is deep blue.

Total mileage: 0

February 10

Errands around Winthrop. More packages to mail. I visit a friend who is recovering from knee surgery and bring him blueberry muffins as well as Bill Roorbach’s excellent book, Temple Stream. This friend also is in good spirits and is very perky. He lets me borrow two books by Joyce Carey—Herself Surprised and To Be a Pilgrim. I put them at the top of my “To Be Read Pile.”

Total mileage: 3


February 13

I go to visit yet another friend who is recovering from an injury, this time a broken foot, and I go farther afield to Brunswick, a forty-five minute drive. I take my friend out to lunch, and she is better coordinated on crutches than most people are on foot. Her doctor gave her permission to continue to ride her exercise bike and to do calisthenics, and even with her broken foot, she exercises faithfully every day. This, of course, is why she is so nimble on crutches, and I can only watch with amazement as she scoots around.

When I get back home, I discover I have driven ninety-five miles today, and I am shocked. Is my friend worth it? Absolutely. But ninety-five miles is a lot of miles.

In “Bright as Windblown Lark,” William Maxwell writes about the poet Laurie Lee, who grew up in the English countryside in the 1920s. Maxwell quotes Lee: “Myself, my family, my generation were born in a world of silence, a world of hard work and necessary patience, of backs bent to the ground, hands massaging crops, of waiting on weather and growth; of villages like ships in the empty landscapes and the walking distances between them, of white narrow roads rutted by hooves and cart wheels, innocent of oil or petrol…”

Maxwell goes on to comment “Granted that one has to live in one’s own Age or give up all contact with life; nevertheless, one puts this book [Lee’s The Edge of Day] aside not with nostalgia but with a kind of horror at what has happened. There was perhaps no stopping it, one thinks, and the same time as one thinks that, one thinks that it should never have been allowed to happen…Like a fatal disease, it has now got in our bloodstream.”

So much so that it seems like nothing at all to go ninety-five miles to visit a friend. Leave before noon. Come home before dinner and not only have time to visit but also to do a number of errands. We cram so much into each day, and we still think that we don’t have enough time. It is incredible to think about the distances we travel, the people we see, the things we accomplish. On the other hand, we have the environmental damage we do combined with a hopeless, rushed feeling. Both are the logical results of a life based around the automobile.

Filled the car: $24.75

Total mileage: 95

February 14

Errands around Winthrop, including a trustee meeting at the Food Pantry. I’m still marveling over driving ninety-five miles to have lunch with a friend. I think about how cars give us the freedom to go places and visit people, how they expand our horizons. Then I think about global warming, congestion, and pollution. How to balance the two? We certainly can’t go back (Can we?). But what would going forward look like?

On another note…Vice President Cheney accidentally shot a man with whom he was hunting. I’ve come to think of Cheney as this administration’s id, all snarling impulse, and the shooting is a perfect metaphor for the leadership of this country.

Total mileage: 10.7

February 16

From Verlyn Klinkenborg’s “The Rural Life,” a column from the New York Times: “There has been an extraordinary groundswell of farming up here [in upstate New York]. I mean small farms, usually organic, that have learned how to connect directly…with consumers. It is a new model of farming based on an old model, one that my grandfather would have understood back in the days before cheap transportation—or transportation whose costs we chose not to notice—changed the way farmers and consumers think.”

Thinking about what Klinkenborg wrote, I did errands around Winthrop—post office, bank, video store, grocery store—all for 3.3 miles. While it might have been better not to use the car at all, there is no denying that doing all those errands in 3.3 miles is a gasoline bargain. Perhaps it’s time to bring back the town with its cluster of shops and businesses. I wonder if higher gasoline prices would encourage this. After all, strip development and sprawl are choices that we have made, and, with some effort, they can be unmade.

February 23

To Augusta and back. I took our dog Liam with me, and we went for a walk in a cemetery in town. We come across a row of small white tombstones that are all inscribed the same way—“Maine Industrial School for Girls.” The dates range from the late 1880s to the early 1900s, and the girls’ ages go from fourteen to nineteen.

I have lived in this area for nearly fifty years, and I have no idea where or what the Maine Industrial School for Girls was. I suspect that it must have been nearby or else the girls would not have been buried in this cemetery, and with a bit of research, I discover I am right. The complex, now a prerelease center for prisoners, is only a few miles away, and I have driven by it hundreds of times without being aware of what it once was. A casual look at the large brick buildings should have told me that this was an institution built in the late 1880s. But I did not even look casually, and the school’s origins have passed from most people’s memories. How little we know about the history of our towns! How soon it can fade. (Paradoxically, at times ancient grudges are all too present.) Dalí’s The Persistence of Memory features melting clocks, suggesting that while memory might be persistent, it is also unreliable, haphazard, and subject to decay.

Further research leads me to the Report of the Maine Commissioner on State Industrial School for Girls, a small bound notebook printed in 1868. I get it on loan from the Bangor Public Library, and my town’s librarian tells me that she is surprised that the aged notebook was allowed out of the library. It is well beyond the scope of this diary to give a full account of this report, which sways between compassion and stern judgement, a concern for the common good mixed with a disapproval and disgust for “a class who have no sympathy with the right; justice, peace, and regulated liberty, they regard as foes…” In short, the school was built for “girls of a peculiar class and condition” and “They belong to what has been termed ‘the perishing and dangerous classes of society.’”

The report is a fascinating document that shows the history of our ambivalence toward the poor, an ambivalence that is still with us today.

Total miles: 25

February 26

I drive to South Portland to bring my husband to the airport. He is going on a business trip and will be gone for about a week, too long to go without a car. I drop off my husband, and as I leave the airport, the car gets a flat tire. After driving to a nearby parking lot, I take out the spare tire, which looks straightforward enough, but I am completely baffled by the car jack, and I decide the best ploy is to stand by the car and look helpless. Within a few minutes I have two men changing the tire for me. This is more than a little humiliating, and I vow yet again to learn how to change a flat tire. Right.

I had planned to do errands in Portland, but with the small spare tire, I decide the best thing to do is to go home, a sixty mile ride, as soon as possible.

Filled the gas tank: $24.50

Total mileage: 120

February 28

I end the month as I began it, with a no-car day.

Total mileage: 0

Now, it is time for the final reckoning, the tally of how many miles I drove in February and how much I spent on gasoline. It is here I come face to face with my addiction to oil, my smugness long gone.

Total mileage for the month: 468.5 (This includes mileage for days not mentioned in these excerpts.)

Total gasoline cost for the month: $73.50

My initial response is that 468.5 miles in one month is a hell of a lot for someone who works at home. On the other hand, $73.50 for gas for one month is pretty economical.

Now, dear readers, I have a challenge for you. Keep your own gasoline diary for one month. See how far you drive. Note how much you spend. And, if you are so inspired, send your results to me, and I will post the results in the web magazine. While this isn’t going to change anything, it will bring about a mindfulness to an activity that most people don’t think twice about yet spend so much of their time doing. I know. When it comes to Wolf Moon readers, I am most likely, as the saying goes, preaching to the choir. However, to stretch the metaphor, maybe the songs of the choir will inspire others. 

 


 


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